Written by
Ralph Taylor
Categories:
funny
Gimme a Brake
A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
It didn't take long
to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
humor, work,
The Accountant
She works in accounting at the factory,
loves counting numbers and her salary,
she has it made,
till she got weighed,
obviously hates counting calories.
11-20-16
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
children, funny, on work and working,
In the Gravy
The sea was unusually wavy,
When a cook in the Royal Navy,
With a roll of the ship,
Accidentally slipped,
Inundating his captain with gravy.
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
culture, funny, humor, irony, silly,
Woosh Vs Zroooom--A Limerick Joke
A vacuum cleaner should glide
And relief from messes provide
It is quite unlike
Harley Davidson's bike
Since the dirtbag's on the inside
Author's note: Someone told me this vapid joke at work today, so I framed it as above--enjoy!
Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
education,
Problem Solving
What can two hydrogen; one oxygen be,
here’s a really good hint, it makes up the sea.
so now we should know,
water is H2O.
Now let us work this out; what is K9P?
Written by
Paul Callus
Categories:
art, humor,
Mona Lisa
Humble Olive Eloisa
Went one day to work in Pisa
She posed for awhile
Behind flashy smile
She stood in for Mona Lisa.
----------------------------------
Written by
Bill Baker
Categories:
farm, funny, humor, life, poetry, scary, work,
Scary to Larry
There once was a farmer named Larry
With a hundred cows at his dairy
Larry did his best
Hired help for the rest
Milking that many cows was scary
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
work,
Maid In America
I had an affair with a maid
Accustomed to doing as bade
Now she is with child
The wife has gone wild,
"Thats not how a maid should be paid!"
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
heaven, jobs, joy, tribute, work,
thanks for being so neat
Seeing aisles of messy shelves
Before a shopper even delves
Is a horrible curse
Which Whole Foods can reverse
With stockers who were Santa's elves
Written by
Brandee Augustus
Categories:
funny, introspection, life, on work and working, philosophy
Aries
There once was a proud Aries like me,
whose impatience kept from being free.
But all my pride inside
never had the chance to hide
the goal of winning confidently!
Written by
Caryl Muzzey
Categories:
funny, work,
Cranky Boss
I worked for a cranky old boss
who came to work always quite cross.
Finally found out,
he developed gout,
when stocks took a capital loss
Copyright © 2011 By Caryl SMuzzey
Written by
Jack Horne
Categories:
love,
Big, Bad Agony Aunt's Advice
Oh, honey, your lover’s a jerk;
I promise it really can’t work -
As he’s married, of course,
And he wouldn’t divorce -
I’d deck him* and wipe off his smirk.
* to punch someone hard and knock them to the ground
For Vicky’s Agony Aunt contest
Written by
Viv Wigley
Categories:
relationship,
Love and Hate
LOVE and HATE it can often be said
in relationships, share the same bed
if you're really quite shrewd
you can work out her mood-
either lipstick or bruise on my head!
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
appreciation, for her, funny, humor, life, sexy, work,
Advice Adviser
I'm retired but do I still have a life
Yes, sexual adviser I am to my wife
But if I say try this
It'll be totally bliss
If I desire I'll ask for your advice
.
Challenged to write on the back of a Joke!
Written by
Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Categories:
humor, work,
Bed Sores - For Wit of Twain Contest
He spends one more day in his bed.
To-do-lists run all ‘round his head.
Noon came and then passed,
he’s still on his ass.
A hard day of work, he most dreads!
“If man had created man, he’d be ashamed of his performance.” – Mark Twain
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, school, teenage, work,
All In a Day's Work
Sometimes my work is the pits -
Teenagers popping their zits
With consummate art
They burp and they fart …
I still love my job to bits!
17th November 2015
Written by
Brenden Taylor
Categories:
allegory, political
A True Leader's Thoughts
“One day, I’ll fin’lly align
This horrible, putrid design;
I’ll start at the crown,
And work my way down,”
Said the sheep at the end of the line.
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
earth day, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, rainforest, work,
lumberjacks
lumberjacks fell on their knees
when the woods ran out of trees
no thought to give in
and after a spin
were soon modeling dickies.
Written by
Joe Maverick
Categories:
adventure, courage,
As All Time's In Short Supply'
A man without a job
Had scarce to fill his gob
Scanning the press did See
Much work in jeopardy..'
So his pack; on back did lob.
He'd take train to short supply
Where time; was stacked up high.'
As a man of Limerick town
He was never feeling down
For t'was surely worth the try!
Written by
Njeri Hunjeri
Categories:
fun,
Boss Lady
Boss lady on the go!
No rest for an obedient bro'
She puts him to work from dusk to dust
No mercy for a brother even with trust
The boss lady may need some lust.
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, funny, on work and working, people,
Silly Goose
A novice goose farmer named Sanders,
Once wrote for advice from Ann Landers.
He'd encountered a block
To increasing his flock:
He didn't know gooses from ganders.
Written by
Joyce Johnson
Categories:
funny
The Man From Dunkirk
There once was a man from Dunkirk
Who always was late for his work.
This man was so lazy,
He drove his wife crazy.
She stabbed him awake with a dirk.
For Deborah Guzzi's limerick contest 9th place
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, children, funny, on work and working,
Careful, Doctor!
A lady named Abigail Feanture
Received from her colleagues a censure.
She, being a vet,
Accidentally let
A mischievous Doberman Pincer.
Written by
John Smith
Categories:
work,
Man From Tashkent
There once was a young man from Tashkent
whose job was very hard and it bent
him double "No trouble;
I believe a pub'll
unbend me," he said, and so he went.
Written by
Shane Cooper
Categories:
silly, work,
My Day
Hi Ho around and around we go
Where I work nothing is ever slow
Sometimes they will shout
Sometimes they will pout
What cometh next you never can know