Best Limerick Poems

These are some of the best limerick poems written by web poets on PoetrySoup.com.

See also: examples of limerick poems

Her limericks posted on Soup
are full of the merits of poop,
of farts and of pee,
of laxatives' glee,
and hard ons - or those with a droop!

For my hilarious friend Jan Allison

A curvaceous lady named Mary
Just loved having sex in the dairy
When smothered with whipped cream
Her beau would lick her clean…
His Calorie intake was scary!!!

14th June 2016

As soon as we got to the county fair
The country odor got through my nose hair
Coz above some milk pails
We encountered cow tails
Which filled our senses with their dairy-air

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."

In spring time fresh flowers are rising
New lambs in the fields – not surprising
In every hedgerow and tree
Lush beauty will surround me
It’s heaven; there is no disguising

02~16~15
Contest: Spring Forward -Debbie Guzzi
Syllables checked 9 9 7 7 9

A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
        It didn't take long
        to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay...
He’s sleeping with his buxom P A
She confirmed she’s with child
Ted baulked, then got quite riled
I wonder what his wife’s got to say!

5/26/18

Travelling through life resembles an arc
We start out as a child emerging from the dark
To reach a crescendo
Establishing a tempo
Then sadly we all must eventually disembark


© Jack Ellison 2015

A poet - some deem that I’m not
I write about farting and snot
Won’t be driven away
I am here to stay 
Of critics, I don’t give a jot

3/21/19

I was blessed by a golden cash cow
She’s a wonderful friend to me now
For those in the know
She goes with the flow
Here’s my tribute, may she take a bow!

12~27~16

There once was a banshee called Anno,
Who was learning to play the piano.
She was doomed to fail,
And started to wail -
And now she’s a world class soprano.

They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.

8.31.18
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick

Sue’s panties gave her so much woe -
She suffered from dire ‘camel toe’
But with help from soft plastic
Her new outline’s fantastic
It’s discrete and no one would know!

4/5/18

Some people you meet leave an lasting impression
Some pass through without even a mention
The ones that stand out
Leave us no doubt
Friendships for life are without exception

A young mermaid from old Shangri-La
Had a Math quiz --- right after her spa 
So she thought, “What to wear,
That will make the boys stare?”
Then she picked out her best algae-bra!

What causes those daft in the head
To hurt others with things they’ve said
If you must then vent
Your jealous intent
Perhaps you should mute it instead.

An email just received is a sham,
stating swine flu comes from tins of ham,
but don’t get a fright,
for this is not right,
when the email claims ham, well it’s spam.

The Russians, of course, think its cool
To jump in an icy-cold pool
But I'm not a fool
And made a Mule Rule:
Dive only where warmth greets my tool!

'There was a wealthy old man from Kansas 
Wasn't concerned if he caught the virus 
He was wealthy you could tell
Owned ten rolls of cottonelle
Said If I die "least I've got a clean A. S. S. ".



Written 13th March 2020

They protest to not be a drama queen
but just can't wait to jump into the scene
Pretending to be a friend
Verbal daggers they extend
Their true colors are now vibrantly seen

Alas ‘tis the fate of plucky Jan
To write her poetry while on the can
Her pen’s been known to scoop
A sprinkling of poop
And gleefully to let it hit the fan

Now, the time has come for bawdy things
from no other than our queen of queens.
	As she takes the throne,
	the crowd emits a groan.
This, the reign of the Queen of Obscenes.

We entered the Gumball Rally
My driver was “Backstreets” Tally
With his crazy fast car
We still couldn’t get far
Bad math, no gas, in Death Valley

A struggle ensued at the zoo

when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.

Leo tried to attack,

but Jack fired right back:

"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"


For Geraldine Taylor's  The Creative Collective Anthology Series - Comic Version

The arms of the willow started to sway
and this curious glow rippled my way.
While flirting with my feet,
nature played a song so sweet.
The lake our dance floor 'til the sun's first ray.