Best Limerick Poems
Written by Jack Horne
Categories: tribute,

Laughter

Her limericks posted on Soup
are full of the merits of poop,
of farts and of pee,
of laxatives' glee,
and hard ons - or those with a droop!

For my hilarious friend Jan Allison



Written by Jan Allison
Categories: farm, humorous, sexy,

Mary In the Dairy

A curvaceous lady named Mary Just loved having sex in the dairy When smothered with whipped cream Her beau would lick her clean… His Calorie intake was scary!!! 14th June 2016


Written by David Fisher
Categories: animal, farm, funny,

Rear View Air

As soon as we got to the county fair
The country odor got through my nose hair
Coz above some milk pails
We encountered cow tails
Which filled our senses with their dairy-air


Written by Judith Angell Meyer
Categories: funny, imagination, song-

His Funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: spring,

Spring Forward

In spring time fresh flowers are rising New lambs in the fields – not surprising In every hedgerow and tree Lush beauty will surround me It’s heaven; there is no disguising 02~16~15 Contest: Spring Forward -Debbie Guzzi Syllables checked 9 9 7 7 9


Written by Ralph Taylor
Categories: funny

Gimme a Brake

A UFO went to land in Dakota
But the brakes didn't work one iota.
        It didn't take long
        to decide what was wrong
seems the space ship was made by Toyota!


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: humorous, lust, natural disasters,

Oops - It's a Bit of a Cock Up

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay... He’s sleeping with his buxom P A She confirmed she’s with child Ted baulked, then got quite riled I wonder what his wife’s got to say! 5/26/18


Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: journey, life,

The Arc of Life

Travelling through life resembles an arc We start out as a child emerging from the dark To reach a crescendo Establishing a tempo Then sadly we all must eventually disembark © Jack Ellison 2015



Written by Jan Allison
Categories: anti bullying, poetry,

I Admit I Write Poop Poetry

A poet - some deem that I’m not I write about farting and snot Won’t be driven away I am here to stay Of critics, I don’t give a jot 3/21/19


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: friendship, thank you, tribute,

Cash Cow

I was blessed by a golden cash cow She’s a wonderful friend to me now For those in the know She goes with the flow Here’s my tribute, may she take a bow! 12~27~16


Written by Jack Horne
Categories: music

Anno

There once was a banshee called Anno,
Who was learning to play the piano.
She was doomed to fail,
And started to wail -
And now she’s a world class soprano.


Written by Jesse Rowe
Categories: bird, food, funny,

Fatso

They said how she ate was absurd;
A "Fatso", they called her she heard,
And ever since then
That poor, baby wren
Just pecked at her food like a bird.

8.31.18
Contest: Any Animal or Creature Limerick


Written by Jan Allison
Categories: body, clothes, humorous,

Toeing the Line - Bawdy Limerick

Sue’s panties gave her so much woe - She suffered from dire ‘camel toe’ But with help from soft plastic Her new outline’s fantastic It’s discrete and no one would know! 4/5/18


Written by Jack Ellison
Categories: friendship,

Friendships For Life

Some people you meet leave an lasting impression Some pass through without even a mention The ones that stand out Leave us no doubt Friendships for life are without exception


Written by Judith S
Categories: anger,

Mute It

What causes those daft in the head To hurt others with things they’ve said If you must then vent Your jealous intent Perhaps you should mute it instead.


Written by Dean Wood
Categories: ocean,

Kelp Me With This Won'T You

A young mermaid from old Shangri-La
Had a Math quiz --- right after her spa 
So she thought, “What to wear,
That will make the boys stare?”
Then she picked out her best algae-bra!


Written by Lindsay Laurie
Categories: humor,

Rumour

An email just received is a sham,
stating swine flu comes from tins of ham,
but don’t get a fright,
for this is not right,
when the email claims ham, well it’s spam.


Written by Rico Leffanta
Categories: humor, january,

Jan You Wary

The Russians, of course, think its cool
To jump in an icy-cold pool
But I'm not a fool
And made a Mule Rule:
Dive only where warmth greets my tool!


Written by Tom Cunningham
Categories: humor,

The Wealthy Old Man From Kansas

'There was a wealthy old man from Kansas 
Wasn't concerned if he caught the virus 
He was wealthy you could tell
Owned ten rolls of cottonelle
Said If I die "least I've got a clean A. S. S. ".



Written 13th March 2020


Written by Tania Kitchin
Categories: angst, bullying, grief,

Phony Facade

They protest to not be a drama queen
but just can't wait to jump into the scene
Pretending to be a friend
Verbal daggers they extend
Their true colors are now vibrantly seen


Written by John Lawless
Categories: fun,

JAN'S FANS

Alas ‘tis the fate of plucky Jan
To write her poetry while on the can
Her pen’s been known to scoop
A sprinkling of poop
And gleefully to let it hit the fan


Written by Bill Baker
Categories: adventure, car, crazy, fun, race, sports, world,

Gumball Rally

We entered the Gumball Rally
My driver was “Backstreets” Tally
With his crazy fast car
We still couldn’t get far
Bad math, no gas, in Death Valley


Written by Linda Alice Fowler
Categories: fun, giggle, humor, silly,

Our Bawdy Queen

Now, the time has come for bawdy things
from no other than our queen of queens.
	As she takes the throne,
	the crowd emits a groan.
This, the reign of the Queen of Obscenes.


Written by Andrea Dietrich
Categories: funny,

Zoo Limerick

A struggle ensued at the zoo

when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.

Leo tried to attack,

but Jack fired right back:

"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"


For Geraldine Taylor's  The Creative Collective Anthology Series - Comic Version


Written by Kristin Carter
Categories: imagination, life, nature, places,

I Met This Charming Moonbeam Last Night

The arms of the willow started to sway
and this curious glow rippled my way.
While flirting with my feet,
nature played a song so sweet.
The lake our dance floor 'til the sun's first ray.