Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
humorous,
One Mermaid's Lesson
A merman had one stubborn daughter
who rebelled against what her dad taught her.
When she swam to dry land,
she could then understand
she was just like a fish - out of water!
For the Out of Water Poetry Contest of Sheri Fresonke Harper
Written by
Sandra Haight
Categories:
cat, water,
Kitten's Revenge
Oh dear, no! To that bath place I go!
In that sink to be drenched head to toe!
Into devil, I turn
In my hell, you will burn-
This mad kitten's revenge you will know!
February 19, 2016
Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
education,
Problem Solving
What can two hydrogen; one oxygen be,
here’s a really good hint, it makes up the sea.
so now we should know,
water is H2O.
Now let us work this out; what is K9P?
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
funny
Hot Jalapenos
Eating jalapenos, boy did I sing
Mouth was on fire so was my ring
Burnt going in one way
And out the in the same day
Which end do I cool first in the gushing water spring
Written by
Kayla Fielding
Categories:
anxiety, blue, bullying,
Who Am I
Who am I?
My heart, it always cries
I guess I will never really know
which way does water flow?
who am I?
Written by
Connie Pachecho
Categories:
allusion, love, nature,
He Found His Love In Deep Water
he found his love in deep water
there she was a roasted beauty queen lying on the beach
he moved towards her, inch by inch and then he met her reach
she came out of her shell
and that broke the spell
perfect, she was a hermit too living on rock bottom's breach
connie pachecho
3/11/17
Written by
M. L. Kiser
Categories:
animal, dog, earth, nature, water,
Ruined Fur Coat
Cassidy was a curious dog;
One day he walked into a bog,
Coming out, he looked about,
He couldn't see and began to pout;
Because he’s a sludge caked dog!
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
environment, political,
The I's of Texas
We have a vehicle on Mars
Down on Earth, no gas for our cars
No heat overnight
No water in sight
in Texas, they're just seeing stars!
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
water, word play,
Divining Rod
Conchita Dowser, Water Witch,
Is famous for her willow switch
The water she found
Is all underground
And digging it up is a B itch!
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
daughter, funny, wife
Cockney
A cockney from over the water
Had a wife and a tasty young daughter
They would lead him a dance
And he stood not a chance
Cos they both never did what they oughta
Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
humor,
Call the Midwife
T’was her ninth month and early summer,
My wife said she’d heard nothing dumber,
After she had spoken,
Her water had broken...
And me ringing up for a plumber.
Written by
Sherif Goda
Categories:
beautiful, beauty, nature,
Natural Beauty
The nature surrounds us everywhere
In deep running water or high flying air
So we need not to complain
We have to forget our pain
Let's look at natural beauty and stare
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
adventure, funny, satire,
The Under Water Solution
When the money is mostly spent
Find the lowest terms for the rent
A car on a train
Protects well from the rain
But better yet let's get a tent
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny,
I Prefer a Little Water With My Tea
Head straight to the coffee pot after I pee
What happened this morning? Good god mercy me
Empty Folgers can
Was I pissed? Yes ma’am
(Four extra-large bags make a fine cup ‘o tea)
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
funny,
Naughty Words
Never test the water with BOTH your feet
To determine the temperature or if it's deep
One pinky at a time
For testing the brine
It's over my head, words I screamed I had to bleep
© Jack Ellison 2016
Written by
Shane Cooper
Categories:
humor,
The Shower
There was a pretty girl called Charlene
Who showered all day to stay clean
The hot water ran out
She gave a loud shout
And started swearing like a marine
Written by
Viv Wigley
Categories:
humor, pain,
The Zipper
(my tribute to Limerickmeister Jack Ellison, smile engine extraordinaire)
I remember the time when I caught a
bit of my body parts where I oughtn't a
in much pain did I struggle
with my bits I did juggle
it really did make my eyes water!
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
humor,
Unwanted Gaze
At a water slide a man eyed me
He stared at a spot above my knee
‘Twas later I learned
His gaze I had earned
My swimsuit revealed a strange goatee
*This really happened! Written April 25, 2015 for Jan’s contest.
Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
humor,
Biological Formula
A mathematician once stated to me,
That H-2-O is water you see,
So in a sly whim
I barked back at him
Can you tell me what is K-NINE-P.
Written by
Tim Smith
Categories:
love, smile,
She - a Loverick
She walks on water or so it seems
She's in my every thought and dream
Sweet and kind
No better you'll find
When she smiles my heart sure beams
Written by
Jack Clark
Categories:
abuse, corruption, environment, humor, humorous, political,
Fracked
The “Bad Witch of Oz” lost her throne
They weren’t gonna’ leave her alone
… the water was Fracked
… it’s how she got whacked
But … how many others aren’t known!
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny,
Teaching Pussy To Swim
I was teaching my cat to swim,
His pussy face looked so grim,
Dad said, "Make the lessons shorter,
you see cats just don't like water,
even so, I rate your chances slim."
Written by
Sneha Rv
Categories:
water,
Out of Water
Nineteen fishes and an otter
Wondered if it could be hotter
But they didn't know if it could -
They had gone away for good
Reason? Simple - Out of water!
For contest - Out of water
My second limerick
Written by
Cheryle Sanders
Categories:
funny,
Fantasy Vacation
I dream of a fantasy vacation
At a steamy, exotic location
I’d pound Monkey's Martini
In my polka dot bikini
And sip water for added hydration.
Written by
Howard Tunick
Categories:
humor,
A Rising Tide For Contest
There once was a climate change doubter
He really was quite a shouter
Until late one night
The high tide just right
Found the beach house he loved under water
24 December 2015