Limerick Poems About Valentines_Day | Valentines_Day Limerick Poems

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue

Roses are red, violets are blue
Through my telescope I spy on you
           But the idea was yours
          Even the unlocked doors 
Love thy neighbor is up for review

Feb 8, 2022

A Modern Valentine: Define The Relationship, Please

For a DTR from you I’m waiting,
and no more is it up for debating.
Quit bread-crumbing me,
or ghosted you’ll be
after ten years of off-and-on dating.

A Valentine’s Limerick

Valentine’s Day I do love you
a day of red~pink but not blue
you are like candy~sweet
much better than red meat
God sent me to you~who knew

Cupid Was Good on Valentine's Day

Cupid drew back his bow; arrow driven.
Straight in the stranger's heart, unforgiven.
On one knee a ring in hand,
Tears, what none can understand?
I will, Valentine's Day it was given.

1/12/2024

Valentine's Day Sweets

A tongue with good luck is embraced
By a honeyed candy-like taste
This holiday treat
Is a fabulous eat
And lies under silk lingerie laced

Romance Foiled

To Valentines Day I am true
The joy of a score means...yahoo!
Sex is a pleasant
Heart holiday present
Now ruined since I’ve caught the flu

For My Valentine

Oh dear! My beloved sweet Valentine,
My heart holds a fervor I can't define.
My love, I fail to express.
My true feelings I suppress.
But, in my heart n' thoughts, like sun you shine!

Plenty More Fish

This Valentine's Day I shall send
To my boyfriend so not to offend.
Even though I am fond,
If he does not respond,
No worriesHe's got a best friend.

My Heart's Desire

My body does shiver and swoon
My voice will quiver and croon
My heart's desire
It sets me on fire
- A quiche made with liver and prune.

I Am Happy and Gay

There once was a man from Bombay
Had a computer matched date on Valentines Day
When his date did arrive
He was shocked and surprised
Misunderstood the American meaning of “gay”

Cupid

On Valentine's Day Cupid rules,
A bow and arrow his trusty tools.
He shoots an arrow at a he,
Then takes aim at a she,
And they both become lovesick fools.

2/4/12
Kim Merryman for Linda-Marie's February Funny Bone contest.

Love Is a Another Name For Debt

Where is fat baby cupid?
I hope he knows I think Valentines day is stupid
Buying expensive gifts at Walmart
Overweight babies shooting love darts
Honestly the whole holiday is simply putrid

Valentine With Caution

Potential for mischief they say
Writing poems on Valentine's day
If you're looking for love
Not a slap from a glove
Don't give too many secrets away

A Valentine Limerick

When Cupid’s arrow flies through the air,
I hope that you will always be there.
As a target for his shot,
So, you’ll forget me not,
And you will always know
How much I care.

Lovely Words

Just not sure how to tell you this today,
I'm certain you know it's Valentine's Day,
Cupid's arrow hit me straight
so today, I find a mate...
"You're blocking my view - GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

Not The Ring She Was Expecting

Jimmy wanted shut of his girlfriend Joan
Because all she did every day was moan
She was longing for some bling
A bright gold engagement ring
But he ditched her with a' ring' to her phone.

A Valentine Housewarming

A large heart-shaped box was placed at my door
no name or address - I checked to be sure,
after I untied the bow
I was treated to a show...
neighbor's wife naked at the wrong front door!

Cupid Pulls Back the Bow

When Cupid’s arrow flies through the air,
I hope that you will always be there.
As a target for his shot,
So you’ll forget me not,
And you will always know
How much I care.

Bouquet Blunder

My husband had purchased fresh flowers
They sweltered in his car for eight hours
Twelve roses of red
Were nearly all dead
His Valentine’s Day gaffe truly sours

Valenchime

There was a woman who lived down the block
her Valentine gift was a cuckoo clock,
so when she pulled the bird's chime
he sang out this Cupid rhyme...
"Hey baby, will you show me your TikTok?"

Valentine Robotics

A robot flushed my glands today
Efficiently with no foreplay
So now I could work
As a soda jerk
But robots took my job away

Pickup Fails

Oh hey girl, I have to inquire 
Do you like to sit on live wire?
    You’re making me choke 
    From all of that smoke
‘Cause damn girl, that booty’s on fire!

Chocolates Don't Always Win a Heart

On Valentine's Day, Clay brought her candy
Hoping chocolates would make her randy
She threw him out the door
Yelled, "Men are such a bore!
I'm in love with twins, Mandy and Sandy."

Rose Is R-Red

Roses are red and grown by my own see-ster
Violets are just a pain in my keister
Though I came here to say
Happy Valentine’s Day
I long to kiss your tulips come this Easter