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Limerick Poems About Retirement
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
Hot Damn
Retirement, aw yes, looked forward to this time
A cottage on the beach, that would have been fine
But instead here I am
With you guys, hot damn!
Greatest friends I've ever had, so sweet and so kind
© Jack Ellison 2015
Written by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Categories:
funny, life
Retirement and the Mountains
Retirement in the Mountains
There once was an old mountain man.
He hunted and lived off the land.
He always felt fine.
When he danced in moonshine.
So he danced and imbibed like he planned.
© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
March 11, 2010
Poetic form: Limerick
Written by
Jean Murray
Categories:
animal, retirement, sad love,
Retired Ram
There once was a ram who retired,
who really was terribly tired.
Having serviced the lot,
he should have have been shot.
But the gun thankfully backfired.
Written by
Mitch White
Categories:
satire
Foolproof
I lost my job two years ago today
Unemployment ran out sometime in May
Saving cans you know
Still play the Lotto
My little retirement plan, per se
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
Ahhh Retirement
This life of retirement sure is a blast
But can never remember when I went last
Tried to act coyly
And not to be noisy
Then bombs away like a huge birthday bash
Written by
Andrew Crisci
Categories:
friendship, funny,
Eh, Pal What Are Your Chances of Winning
Eh, pal what are your chances of winning?
Ah, you could have banked all this saving
for an early retirement...
to cherish that sentiment!
When you're completely broke, start cringing!
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
Still At It At 80
Believe it or not, I just acquired a new client
Still at it at 80, something's out of alignment
Should have hung up my mouse
Talents have yet to head south
So, long as I'm breathing, still working on refinement
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny,
After Taxes - Pet Hate
After taxes, our money's all spent.
We can't save for our own retirement.
I've got a big axe
to grind! Income tax
isn't paid by our own president!
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
A Happy Retirement
Where can I go to buy some excitement
Is there a shop where I can get a new alignment
Would pay big money
In fact dollars by the tunny
To experience the joys of a happy retirement
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
fun,
Mutiny
Lived eight years in a retirement community
Best eight years, so thankful for the opportunity
Elderly ladies clamoured around me
Best looking oldster they ever did see
Had to beat them off with a stick to avoid a mutiny
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
age,
A Mutiny
Lived eight years in a retirement community
Best eight years, so thankful for the opportunity
Elderly ladies clamoured around me
Best looking oldster they ever did see
Had to beat them off with a stick to avoid a mutiny
Never too old!
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
autumn, dog, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, retirement, silly,
retirement
dog catcher ferguson jeeves
found a new job raking leaves
since he turned eighty one
neighbors now have more fun
he's no longer spreading fleas.
Written by
Larry Bradfield
Categories:
humorous,
Rudolph's Retirement
Old Rudolph sired a reindeer last June
In hopes Santa would retire him soon
But the young one's red nose winks
Like a brothel's red light blinks
So they tied him outside the saloon
12-14-18
For contest Funny Reindeer Limerick for Tania Kitchin
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
happy,
Stroking My Goatee
Retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be
Finding things to occupy my mind is key
Like chasing young fillies
Plying them with lilies
And watch them melt and stroke my goatee
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
death, depression, food, life, peace, perspective, retirement,
I Scream
The stars outshine a pale moonbeam
We try in vain to touch our dream
We live each day
To hope and pray
We shall end it all with ice cream!
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
retirement, time,
A Gift For the Retiree
The time on the hands of the clock
It's all yours now, every tick-tock
Wisely you may use it
Or even abuse it ~
But you cannot choose to refuse it
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
Hot Damn
Retirement, aw yes, looked forward to this time
A cottage on the beach, that would have been fine
But instead here I am
Writing poetry, hot damn!
Met some really great poets, so sweet and so kind
Written by
Kenneth Cheney
Categories:
humor, sick, truth,
Viral Economy
My retirement statement just came to me
Looks like I’m working till I’m eighty- three
My monies all gone
It didn’t take long
Vanished in a viral economy
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
My Mind's In Decline
At this late stage, should retire my mind
Still designing posters, making errors is a sign
Once very sharp
Missing parts
But my poetry is still clicking, that part's still fine
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
A Bit Off Line
Pay no attention I'm a bit off line
A bit off centre it could be the wine
Or might be my arm pits
Or maybe my bollocks
Perhaps it was that bucket of turpentine
Written by
Rico Leffanta
Categories:
retirement, women,
The Gold Watch
A spinster whom just earned her pension
Faced her fate with some apprehension
Though never a bride
She still had her pride
But old men can't jump to attention!
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
My Happy Pills
Must take my “happy pills” twice a day
Or another collapse will be on its way
Nothing serious
Don't get supercilious
Unless I bash my beano if off-target I'll stray
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
Posting
It's unsettling when a friend stops posting
With no advance notice or explantation of closing
The thought of passing
Is immediately distressing
Tis human to think negative a natural emotion
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
retirement,
Shelley and Keats
At eighty-seven well past my prime
Can you believe it no long can rhyme
Even Shelly and Keats
Have hung up their cleats
Each had hoped for a life more sublime
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
depression, mental illness, political, work,
meltdown madness
We might as well stamp license plates
Government work makes us inmates
When assigned tasks inane
In asylums insane
We'll search for retirement dates