Written by
Lindsay Laurie
Categories:
humor,
Charitable Me
A woman crying, was looking around.
It appears that she lost one hundred pound,
so I think it is fair
that I show her I care -
I gave her ten from the hundred I found.
Written by
Niketa Mckenzie
Categories:
funny, lost love, love,
One Night Stand
Their once was a girl in love
She knew he was sent from above
They danced, they sing they did everthing
But then he deflated in the tub
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
Herbie Rides Again
Two autos both tried to have sex.
A pity they both were such wrecks!
With great apprehension,
One lost its suspension.
Old banger sex – oh so complex!
12~21~14
Contest: East Jesus
Sponsor: Roy Jerden
Checked using how many Syllables 8,8,6,6,8
~awarded 3rd place~
Written by
Jack Horne
Categories:
friendship
Home Brew
There once was a friend of mine,
Who was famed for making wine.
Her visits were great,
As she brought a crate -
But I lost a week each time.
For Francine's Bottle of Wine contest, written 17th June
Written by
Ronald Wheeler
Categories:
psychological,
Hazy Question
One moment I feel in full control
And the next a lost and drifting soul
Am I healthy straight and sane
Do I have a normal brain
Or just taking madness for a stroll
"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or are the others crazy?" - Albert Einstein
Written by
Erik Savage
Categories:
grandmother, nonsense, silly,
Grannys Glass Eye
My grandmother lost her glass eye
She sneezed when she breathed in a fly
As her eyeball flew by
She exclaimed my oh my
My glass eye has learned how to fly
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
humorous, thanksgiving,
Thomas Turkey Avoids the Dreaded Axe
Tom Turkey got lost 'midst the teeming flock,
Thus, avoiding the dreaded chopping block!
Hunkering down spared his life,
Averting the carving knife!
He now recovers from traumatic shock!
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny
Eyegasses
I lost my wife among the masses
She said I was blind and needed glasses
I searched the inbetweens
Remembered I fed her beans
Then closed my eyes and followed the gasses
Written by
Line Gauthier
Categories:
fun, love, nonsense, silly, tree, vacation,
Nuts Over a Coconut
Fell in love with a coconut
The tree stood tall outside my hut
Love sublime at first sight
I thought I‘d have a bite
Lost both front teeth right on the spot
AP: 3rd place 2020
Posted on January 17, 2019
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
christmas,
Rudoph Sighting
Poor Rudolph one night hurt his hoof
by landing on somebody’s roof.
I got a good look!
A photo I took,
but lost it! Dang, there goes my proof.
syllables: 8/8/5/5/8
Written by
James Horn
Categories:
allegory, analogy,
By Us Had Been Construed
By Us Had Been Construed
By us already had ben construed,
Were really trying to find a feud,
Failed to find,
In my mind;
Ended up being lost in interlude.
Jim Horn
Written by
Robert Pettit
Categories:
funny
A Chinese Limerick
A gambler from Hong Kong named Louie.
He was dumb and quite a bit screwy.
In a gambling pad,
he lost all he had.
Today, he can’t afford chop suey.
Who says a limerick has to be Irish?
Written by
Isaiah Zerbst
Categories:
holiday, humor, humorous, ireland, irony,
My Old Bucket
I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
food, children, funny, sea, sea,
Pasta, Pasta, Everywhere
Oh, vermicelli, rigatoni!
Lost on a sea of minestrone
The sea beneath my feet,
And nothing else to eat,
I live on cheese and macaroni.
Written by
Bartholomew Williams
Categories:
books, education, funny, humorous, life, relationship, school,
Learning - a Good Investment
A lazy student known as Burt,
To parents and teachers was curt.
With little knowledge,
Flunked out of college;
Played stock market and lost his shirt!
12/22/18
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
health, humor,
Flushed
It’s time for my next colonoscopy
Oh, how I dread the cost to me.
Must I drink all that stuff?
Wouldn’t a pint be enough?
I fear my insides may be lost to me.
Written by
Gerard Keogh Jr.
Categories:
death, husband, lost love, satire
Ten Little Indians
You perfected your lies to an art.
You succeeded in breaking my heart.
I shed not one tear,
for the hour is near,
when arsenic will keep us apart.
Written by
Audrey Haick
Categories:
funny, humorous,
A Stagnant Condition
Joel once made a New Year’s Resolution
To put an end to procrastination
But half way through the year
He found himself waiting there
Lost in his stagnant condition
~*~
Written by
John Smith
Categories:
food,
Obesity
Those candies hiding in your valise
say your diet long since lost its lease
So, chew on those Reeses;
chomp whatever pleases
You've got more that I can love obese.
Written by
Wren Rushing
Categories:
golf,
The Truth Hurts
I'm a lonely golf ball lost in the wood,
hit by a golfer that's not very good.
Honestly I swear,
I don't think he cares.
Maybe taking a few lessons he should.
7/11/21
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
funny, mystery, nature, philosophy, science, space,
Cosmology Vs Cosmetology
Dark matter makes scientists sweat
Their telescopes can't find it...yet
What's lost could be found
If they’d just turn around
And gaze at a sexy brunette
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,
nerd dad
once a child with a rattle
enjoyed crawling around cattle
till its mother found out
and to her ex did shout
you lost your custody battle.
Written by
Jack Clark
Categories:
abuse, culture, emotions, introspection, loss, racism, society,
Our Vacancy
Red, Black, Yellow - Brown or White
During the day or - late at night
- When Life is lost
- It’s too great a cost
No justification can make it right.
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
crazy, humor,
Limerick: Once a Dark Horse In a Handicap
Limerick : Once a Dark Horse in a handicap
Once a Dark Horse in a handicap
Led head, tail and hoof in the last lap
All eyes on winning post
Cameras clicked the most
Horse lost in the negative, so clap !
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
dog, humorous, word play,
What a Load of Bull - Word Play Warning
A bull dog and shi htzu were crossed
I asked what a puppy would cost
To buy a bull-shiht
Would cost quite a bit
I told the breeder to get lost!
08/27/21