Limerick Poems About Husbands | Husband Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: jealousy,

Wood Envy

Have I jealousy of my dear mate?
I don’t think I have any, but wait!
I sure wish I could pee
in the wood near a tree
like my husband does, standing up straight!

For Line Gauthier's Funny Limerick Contest

Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other husband Poems."

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor,

Blues News

There was a miserable husband of McNigh
Who had a tendency to frequently cry.
His wife filed for divorce
Causing him no remorse.
Now he’s happy as a drunk drinking rye.



Poem Details | by Linda Alice Fowler |
Categories: fun, funny, giggle, humor, humorous, smile,

Stairway To Heaven

My husband is four foot seven
I stand at six foot eleven
	everything is cool
	he has a step stool
it’s called the Stairway to Heaven


Poem Details | by Gerard Keogh Jr. |
Categories: death, husband, lost love, satire

Ten Little Indians

You perfected your lies to an art.
You succeeded in breaking my heart.
I shed not one tear,
for the hour is near,
when arsenic will keep us apart.


Poem Details | by Tom Bell |
Categories: adventure, funny, husband, love, parody, passion, wife,

State Fair

There once was a woman named Shar,
Who went to her local State Fair,
Her husband came too,
Can't say no to you,
And they were quickly thrown out of there



Poem Details | by Deb Wilson |
Categories: funny love, husband,

Who You Callin' Fattie-A Limerick

There was an old woman called Hattie
whose hubby's name for her was fattie.
So she cooked his goose
hung him from a noose
then buried him in a cow pattie!


Poem Details | by John Williams |
Categories: funny,

The Calcium Thief

A badgering wife caused her husband such grief,
Each time she did he ground his teeth,
Over the years his teeth become
Nothing but stumps upon his gum,
His friends all called her, 'the calcium thief.'


Poem Details | by Iolanda Scripca |
Categories: funny, husband,

Woman-Owned Business Maker

Self-employed and partner in life
He "hired" some other guy's wife
Making golfing balls
Now he has two holes
My new business ?...Surgical Knives...

for Carolyn Devonshire's "Horrible Bosses"


Poem Details | by Martin Kloess |
Categories: car, humor, husband, love, wife,

The Awwwsome Driving Lesson

The neighbors were running in fear
As into front room car did steer
What fate had approved
His words soon removed
Your parking’s improving my dear


Poem Details | by Tirzah Conway |
Categories: allegory, family, father, funny, husband, mother, wife

She Really Did Get This Call

I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
  
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,

        “He’s here at the bar
  
        Quick bring us your car,

Your husband just got in a brawl”


Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: computer-internet, family, children, funny, husband, wedding, wife

Double Disappointment

I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”


Poem Details | by John Williams |
Categories: humorous,

Deaf Husband

I'm just about deaf because of me wife,
Her very loud voice has caused all the strife,
It always goes up an octave or two
When she thinks I've made an incredible blue,
Trouble is I've been making mistakes all of me life.


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: beauty, holiday, husband, love, passion, sensual, wife,

Roses Scents

Scattered beautifully on our bed are roses But it's the one that I like that poses For it attracts in me My mind and body agrees Lay down whilst this Highlander proposes .


Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, humor, husband, loss, marriage, wife,

Prepare For the Worst

That's a week the wife has been missing For years I've so longed this hoping Prepare for the worst the Police said Panic thoughts in my head The Charity shop was not my so wishing


Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: funny

Fishing Or Not

I went a fishin in the neighborhood pond
Just when I cast it in I had to suddenly abscond
I didn’t think it was wrong 
But the pond wore a thong
I was chased by the husband of Gertrude the blond


Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: childhood, death, family, funny, husband, wedding, wife,

Roman Wedlock

A baby, pious, was born by aide
He named it Gaias, and felt like a jade
While he cried,
Cause mommy died.
His wife hired yet another maid.


Poem Details | by Joy Wellington |
Categories: husband, peace,

My Ex For Sale

Come one come all my ex for sale
His underwear being sold in bale
                 Naked on the block
                 Glad he is defrock 
His chest shows fear at the exsale


Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: anniversary, clothes,

29th Wedding Anniversary Poem

Today there was shock in my eyes My husband gave me a surprise He donned his wedding suit And still looks really cute Been married for years, how time flies 06/22/21


Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: dance, funny, funny love, giggle, humor, husband, soulmate,

dancer

once a young student from gilroy

wished to marry a tomboy

parents protested

had him arrested

forced him to join the bolshoi.


Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: husband, wedding, wife

The Secret

Once upon a time, thirty years ago,
In front of a priest I stood with my beau.
“Over time”, he hailed;
“The secret will be unveiled”,
“Of a truly happy marriage”; but I still don’t know.


Poem Details | by Archana Garg |
Categories: dream, husband, life, wife,

Husbands Are In Heaven Whose Wives Scold Not

All night I dream of life without wife,
Peaceful and heavenly, without any strife
No scolding, no nagging,
Like ‘sake’ I’m having.
Alas! Its morning and gone my life.

Dt 23/02/14


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humor,

Limerick: Once a Wife Nurse and Husband Doctor

Limerick : Once a wife Nurse and husband Doctor

Once a wife Nurse and husband Doctor
Loved the meat served from Clinic larder
So they went in to see
Found morgue bodies for free
Since then stopped buying meat from butcher.

© TWignesan – Paris,  2013


Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: funny, marriage, time,

The Reluctant Companion

The wife plans a spree to buy all
With husband on board at the mall
But as this takes place
He just looks for a space
To sit on a bench in the hall


Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: angst, family, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, love, romance, wedding, wife

Full Circle

Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch


Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: family, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, school, teen, wife,

Girl In My Class

There once was a girl in my class.
One day I tried to make a pass.
My cheek still sting,
My ears still ring,
Yet married to me; Alas!