Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
humorous,
One Mermaid's Lesson
A merman had one stubborn daughter
who rebelled against what her dad taught her.
When she swam to dry land,
she could then understand
she was just like a fish - out of water!
For the Out of Water Poetry Contest of Sheri Fresonke Harper
Written by
Harry Horsman
Categories:
time,
Timely Shadow
In legends of old when just a lad
Country farmers according to dad
Upon one’s head a flat cap
To face the sun crafty chap
Whence to tell one the time deemed the fad.
© Harry J Horsman 2020
Written by
Thabang Ngoma
Categories:
fathers day, golf, memory,
Golf Day This Dad
You drove the ball high
It flew and touched the sky
I heard, “FORE!"
And ducked therefore
But the ball hit my thigh
Some of the things mom never knew happened;-)
Written by
Edward Ebbs
Categories:
family, funny, life,
Beers and Tears
Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer
Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011
Written for a poem Contest, Limericks Hilarious
Written by
Jack Elly
Categories:
arabic, dad, fish, islamic, youth,
Time
I wake up and shower,
look at myself in the mirror,
And say "What the? Where did the time go?"
Written by
Jean Murray
Categories:
fun, games,
Milly
There was a young midwife called Milly.
She acted a bit like a filly.
When dad left elated
and mum was sedated,
Milly played with the doctor's willy.
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
beach, children, summer,
Too Excited
My swimmers on, to the beach I ran,
Across the hot, white, squirming sand,
The first wave faced knocked me rotten,
My dad had told me but I'd forgotten,
Jump the waves son if you can.
Written by
Richard Breese
Categories:
angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,
nerd dad
once a child with a rattle
enjoyed crawling around cattle
till its mother found out
and to her ex did shout
you lost your custody battle.
Written by
William Kershaw
Categories:
family, fantasy, father
My Favorite Shoes Ain'T Mine
My favorite shoes in the closet they sit.
I've never worn 'em not even a bit.
Cuz before I was born,
By my Dad they were worn,
I'll not wear them 'til I'm sure they'll fit.
Just for SKAT's contest
Written by
Seren Roberts
Categories:
funny,
What a Boar - Limerick Contest
There was a man with a shovel
Whose house was a relative hovel
Digs a hole in the floor
Think his dad was a boar
Cos he cant stop sniffing for truffle
Penned 17 August 2013
Written by
Sneha Rv
Categories:
humor, humorous, money,
Running Costs
"I ran behind a bus", said Ben,
“Saved a good five dollars again”.
“Oh fool!” dad exclaimed,
“My son, I’m ashamed.
Chasing cabs, you could’ve saved ten!"
Written by
Tim Smith
Categories:
nonsense,
Jack's Harem
Day one without our lim'rick dad
It's cloudy and I feel quite sad
I sneak in his room
Try on his perfume
and call his harem to come to his pad
Written by
Vladimir Tumanov
Categories:
humor, humorous, philosophy, political, society,
Confucius
To be truly and deeply Confucian,
we don’t need a refined constitution.
Just obey mom and dad.
Choose the good — not the bad.
Serve the Emperor, S/shun revolution.
Written by
Joe Flach
Categories:
funny
Pilot Dad
There once was a pilot from Alpine
Who became a father in month nine
Took her to the hangar
Where inside he did bang ‘er
But like his plane, didn’t pull out in time
Written by
Charles Sides
Categories:
funny,
The Birds and the Bee's
My oldest daughter, I named Colleen
She entered puberty at thirteen
The birds and bee's explained
Left me completely drained
Dad, I already know the sex scene
Contest Entry by Charles Sides
Written by
Poet. Undertaker
Categories:
humor,
My Faculty,My Dad
Once there was a man called Hot, the thief
Crash and Smoke are his favorite disciples
Crash profess "Hell the modesty"
Smoke profess "Pray the modesty"
bloody what could be a common cause?
Written by
John Williams
Categories:
children, funny,
Teaching Pussy To Swim
I was teaching my cat to swim,
His pussy face looked so grim,
Dad said, "Make the lessons shorter,
you see cats just don't like water,
even so, I rate your chances slim."
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
grandfather, humorous,
Limerick: Once a Lonely Grand-Dad In a Log-Jam
Limerick : Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam
Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam
Paid an urgent visit to a Grande-Dame*
She lifted the stuck log
During Pea-Souper smog
Damn ! Got carried down Grand-Dad Rapids – Wham !
* Dame : pronounced as in French
© TWignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny
Disco Dad
I first learned to dance when I was four
But my kids won't let me do it no more
They say I look like a perv
The way I wiggle a swerve
They say I even embarrass the floor
Written by
Joyce Johnson
Categories:
daughter,
Short Dance
A pretty colleen from Kilrea,
Went dancing on StPatrick's Day.
Not asking permission
Was grievous omission.
Dad broke the dance up straight away.
Written by
Ajani Ibrahim
Categories:
food, funny, mum,
Dinner
Yeah! Dinner at my home is set at nine
Please don't come, mum would freak, and dad would whine
Chicken and chips
My lil bro weeps
And mum says 'dude get him a glass of wine'
Written by
Kash Poet
Categories:
funny,
Birds and the Bees
"Do you know 'bout birds and the bees?"
One day my son asked suddenly,
"Just ask your teacher,
she would know better"
"No Dad she is yet to marry!"
=============000==============
By:kash poet
Written by
Sarban Bhattacharya
Categories:
father daughter,
A Silly Mistake
Jane's dad was a man of hauteur,
He employed a guard for his daughter
But that bloke was her dream,
She eloped with him,
Her father didn't know this suitor!
Written by
Sharon Smith
Categories:
dad, on writing and words,
I'M Writing This Poem For My Dad
I'm writing this poem for my Dad,
I hope it will make him quite glad,
And if he get's sick,
Of this Limerick,
It'll prove that I'm Limerick mad!
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
funny, halloween,
Halloween Treats
The highlight of the year for dear old Dad
Was Halloween when treats were to be had
His modus operandi
Son you collect the candy
Snickers for me - licorice for you lad
Robert LHinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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