Limerick Poems About Bat | Bat Limerick Poems

The Cat and the Rat

There once was Princess the cat
Who found a big fat hairy rat
She brought it in to play
But mother said no way
And found her a very big metal bat

My Debut At Cricket

Sir Leonard Hutton famous for cricket
Idolized him yet we played in the snicket
His bat willow three springs and all
Ours a joke no umpire to call
Yet did dream of 'Lords' having took a wicket.

© Harry J Horsman  2015

Sympathy

I knew a man with a sailors hat
Fat and chubby, smelled like a rat
         kissed him out of stupidity,
         now he's down on one knee,
Somebody give me a baseball bat!

6-4-12

The Disappointed Baseball Player

Not all my hits are home runs,
many of them miss the bat;
specators respond with boos...
right there I expect to lose,
and getting angry, I toss my cap.

Wine Haha

I..don’t mean to waste your time,
But..boy dose me wife bloody whine.
Do this, do that,
The miserable old bat
I found peace when I pickled her in brine

Fat Moon

She blocks out the sun it's as plain as that
A total eclipse with infinite fat
The darkness comes at noon
That's when we see her moon
Her mom has made me as blind as a bat

A Young Fellow Named Lizzie

There once was a young fellow named Lizzie
The tough guys mockingly called him a sissy
So he carried a bat
And that ended that
No more teasing, he dated a sweet campus missy


© Jack Ellison 2015

Ringtone Guffaw

I updated my new cellular phone
With "Bat Out of Hell" as its new ringtone
When it went off at mass
I let out a huge gasp
Then I pummeled my new phone with a stone

The Cat With the Bat

A young lady found a cat
Now she cannot take a nap
     Each time her eyes shut
     The cat would jump up
And whack her head with a bat

Duncified

We toss our names into a hat
Luck of the draw, that’s where it’s at
No rhyme or reason 
Must be the season
Just step on up and swing your bat

The Republican's Mangy Pussycat

He's a kind of layed back Democrat
Watch the Republican attack with a bat.
     I heard his lame comment
     His mistress causes torment.
She's as fierce as a mangy pussycat!

Riddle Me This Riddle Me That the Amazing Riddles of Fraidy Bat

The " Fraidy" bat flew high away
The "Fraidy"bat said he hated night more than day
I asked him why things were so,
He told me of the time he was molested by a moth named "Bo"
My ears were so violated by what I heard, I didn't know what to say

Jack and Sue's Fling In Park

Jack And Sue's Fling In Park

Jack wanted to hit the ball with Sue
Though his bat was small he liked to woo
Sue liked long fly balls
Ones that hit the walls
When Jack took his swing Sue played it through

5/15/23
Funny, Bawdy or Humorous Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsor-Tania Kitchin

The Prude Mooed

There once was an old cow in her stall
She was looked at by one and all
       She was ugly and fat 
        That crazy old bat
I'm talking bout' my mother-in-law

Hatless Hattie

One dark evening, Hat-less Hattie,
Took a walk with her cattie.
She didn’t see the thing fly down;
Bat attached itself to her crown; 
Hat-less Hattie’s locks are now Matty!

Black Cat

The old women found a black cat
That changed into a large bat
Took her high up in the air
Then slung her by the hair
Into a machine that made her turn flat

Dont Ask Questions

Jack's wife looked in the mirror and asked
Does this dress make my ass look too fat?
To her chagrin 
He said Yes with a grin
But at least you’re not blind like a bat

Batter Up

I post on the Soup for all to see
and am no angel nor claim to be.
  I am kind and all that
  but carry a big bat
so beware how you remember me.


              

The skeleton with a crazy hat,
Says,'I am rotten inside, Mr.Bat',
I have no heart,
I cannot fart,
But they say,'you are a sort of pack rat'.










12/10/2017

They teach, "Curiosity killed the cat"
Is there a good explanation for that?
   In school don't ask questions
   Don't dare make suggestions
Live your life just as blind as a bat.

Again Off the Bat

Again, another thought came off the bat;
Trump has truly become a spoiled brat;
What he wanted to him was always given;
Never desired poor behavior to be forgiven,
And both his body and lip sure seem so fat.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Soldier and Poet

Not the protein, dear Rico, the fat!
There’ll be no more wheat grass for Jack Sprat.
That unhappy vegan
Has gone Chrissy Teigen,
Is now off clubbing seals with a bat.


H/T to Wickless in Seattle by Rico Leffanta

A beastly man and his wife had a spat
The savage hit me with a baseball bat
What a despicable jerk
But my bowl and spigot work
Still capable of holding water..splat!

Like a bat out of hell or a cave
Left and Right always rant or else rave
   Calm and reason have fled
   Abandoned for dead
~ Hysteria's what audiences crave

The moon was as black as a cat
But I saw the tip of a witches hat
Black smoke came from her broom
There was a loud ka-boom
She fell from the sky with her bat