Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: funny, garden, green, humor, humorous, silly, work,

The Limericks Piled in His Yard

The limericks piled in his yard
Made mowing and maintenance hard.
The blade would get stuck
When nonsense it struck,
The handle from hyperbole jarred.

Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: animal, anxiety, courage, funny, humor, humorous, wisdom,

Preparing a Most Daring Dare

Preparing a most daring dare,
Of pinning a tail to a bear,
He just couldn’t choose
Which tail type to use,
And thought best to leave matters there.


Poem Details | by Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories: america, kiss,

Cold Sore

The oligarchy but an orgy 
We’ve never kissed a toad so warty
Hoping for a prince
Puckered with a wince
While they make the sieg heil sporty



***

Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: drink, funny, humor, humorous, mystery, truth, word play,

A Sleuth Who Thought Truth Too Uncouth

A sleuth who thought truth too uncouth
Invented a villain named ‘Ruth’.
Her crimes, though quite quaint,
Compelled him to faint,
Reviving his nerves with vermouth.

Poem Details | by Jerry Brotherton |
Categories: humor, humorous,

Nothing at All

Spend your lifetime regretting not,
all of those things that you ain’t got;
Because just like in birth,
when they cover you with earth,
you can only take what you brought.



Poem Details | by Abdullah Alhemaidy |
Categories: allegory, analogy,

Broken Old Car

That broken car makes disturbance
an old big deceptive appearance
Some thinks it is pretty,
and best car in city
that what its dump driver announce

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: lonely, love,

Still Love All Of Youse


The Internet is down what the hell shall I do Talk to the walls? They just stare back nothing's new The windows do giggle And the curtains do jiggle Think I'm going loopy but I still love all of youse Having trouble letting go

Poem Details | by Joe Maverick |
Categories: appreciation, courage, fun,

Me Limerick

In this poem..I write.'
of form i cant loose sight'
Its allowed to be slick.'
Even fun'  pure delight?
I must use' every ruse; and tact-trick!!

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humor,

Untitled

there was a young surgeon named Bob who learned his craft on the job on a post op exam with stethoscope in hand realized where he left his Swiss watch and fob

Poem Details | by Marinus Jansen |
Categories: anger, humorous, rude, student, teacher,

I once had a PE teacher from Lille

I once had a PE teacher from Lille,
who cruelly knew how to make me feel
like the sweaty, old rag
stuffed in her scuffed gym bag
to hide her cigs and butt plug of steel.

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: holiday, humor,

LEPRECHAUN I

This leprechaun Fastly appeared
And said, will you be mine, my dear
He showed me his gold
That little man was bold
So, I snatched it up and disappeared


Poem Details | by Tony Hargreaves |
Categories: drink, food,

PIE AND PEAS PLEASE

There was a pub called the Cross Keys
Well known for its pork pie and peas.
But the watered down beer
Gave drinkers no cheer.
And the seats were crawling with fleas.


Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humorous,

Untitled

there was a young man from Connaught who never once had a deep thought who fell into a well said, man this is swell I am in way over my head

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humorous,

Untitled

there was a young man from Altoona
who went to the ocean to catch tuna
the boat lurched to starboard
he was flung overboard
and he met a shark that was out to catch humans

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: celebrity, dance, humor, kiss, pain, women,

Anything for a Kiss

   Chubby Checker was doing the twist
   Poor guy fell right down and broke his wrist
     No dancer anymore
     Chubby's wrist is sure sore
   Ladies: Make it 'all well' with a kiss

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: change, giggle, language, word play,

Ro Manse Languages - Poriticary Incollect Rimelick

  Ro manse languages were once all the rage
  But Mandarin's now taken center stage ~
     Flankry, I can't stand it
     The Chinese are bandits ~
  It's rike leceiving kick in reft libcage

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humorous,

Untitled

there was a young man named Sean who pledged his undying love to Dawn one day at the faire he met a different woman there and now he has run off with Fawn

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humorous,

Untitled

there was a young man named Dennis
who staggered from a pub in Ennis
he thought he boarded a train
but woke up on a plane
and found he was headed to Venice

Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

Wheezer in the Freezer

Let me tell you of my friend Wheezer

Spent all day just trying to please her

When she strung him along

He felt something was wrong 

Now she keeps his nads in the freezer

Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

Simple Jack

I'm not sure 'bout your plan of attack

Take one step forward and two steps back 

You say we can't be beat

It sounds more like retreat

So don't expect me in your war Jack

Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

Head Knocker

Stop your balderdash and poppycock 

You're the biggest windbag on the block

Everything that you've said 

Must have gone to your head 

Cuz your head's as large as Plymouth Rock

Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: hair, humor, husband, love, relationship, romance, soulmate,

A Man, Half a Mountain of Hair

A man, half a mountain of hair,
Gave Cupid a bit of a scare.
He wasn't a knave,
He just didn't shave,
A heart that was rare did he share.

Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: anxiety, blessing, children, family, father, love, strength,

The Father of Two

Though frazzled and flummoxed and frayed,
Still, none of it all would he trade.
The father of two
Knew not what to do,
But knew that in love he was paid.

Poem Details | by Beryl Edmonds |
Categories: desire, dog, valentines day,

Canine Valentine

I’m a doggie full of love divine Searching for a darling Valentine I’d be yours truly If you would love me And accept this canine heart of mine.

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humorous,

Untitled

there is a young lass named Tracey who always wears a solemn face whenever asked why she always replies to keep the lusty lads from first base

Poem Details | by Margaret Foster |
Categories: humorous,

Limerick

There once was a man who played in a band But his trumpet was old, secondhand He went into a store To look at some more But came out with a fine baby grand

Poem Details | by Marinus Jansen |
Categories: boyfriend, dance, first love, girlfriend, humor, lust,

I said, If you truly adore me

I said, "If you truly adore me, prove it now by tumbling for me." She said, "I can't today, cuz I just tumbled for Jay, and that gave me a really sore knee.

Poem Details | by Marinus Jansen |
Categories: allusion, humor, rude,

There once was a man from Luckett

There once was a young man from Luckett
whose dick was too big to decently tuck it.
Sometimes at the beach or by the pool,
in a flash, out popped his tool.
Those near him had to dash to duck it.

Poem Details | by Jim Healey |
Categories: america, humor, political,

Red, White and What?

So now out of Washington comes word,
of a proposal you just may have heard
of renaming Greenland
"Red, White and Blueland".
It's the new definition of "absurd".

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humor,

Untitled

there was a young man named Price who always took risks without advice till one day he was peeved when a letter he received from his insurance saying your policy is doubling in price

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: chocolate, love, sexy, valentines day,

a valentine's reprise

Like heaters with thousands of watts
Hot passion burns hearts into knots
Instead of this norm
To find love that’s warm
Form relations with chocolàtes

A honeyed and candied sweet taste
Entwined under lingerie laced
As valentine treat
Is the finest eat
Lucky tongues have ever embraced


Poem Details | by Chetta Achara |
Categories: perspective,

Deep State Clean Up


Democrats are becoming undone
We're watching them cry just for the fun
Their slush fund is dry
Oh me and oh my
Deep state clean up has only begun

Poem Details | by Marinus Jansen |
Categories: 10th grade, family, humorous, mother, my children,

The mere mention of boogies and snot

The mere mention of boogies and snot 
would creep out our dear mamma a lot.
She'd cry out, "Bill, Jenny, and Steve!
Stop it. You're gonna make me heave."
Of course promptly stop it? We did not.

Poem Details | by Mike Gentile |
Categories: books, fun, humor,

The Tiger's Revenge

“The Tiger’s Revenge” is a wonderful book
     Unlikely are many to give it a look
Its author as stated
             Seems mighty ill fated
His name, Sir Claude Balls, has left many men shook

Poem Details | by Shadow Hamilton |
Categories: humorous, love,

You know

You know about Jack and Jill
when they went up the hill
not for water but as lovers
Jack with half mast trousers
holding Jill fell down the hill