Limerick Poems
Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

Exit Stage Left

I took my date to see Mick Jagger 

But later she started to stagger

Said "I have some bad news"

Then she puked on my shoes

So I just decided to bagger

Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

Head Wounds

We're sad to hear the news of your loss

I know there's some lines you never cross

Still you hoped and you prayed

In the end you still paid

Cuz it was over at the coin toss



Congrats Buckeyes!...sorry Irish***



Poem Details | by Christopher Delegans |
Categories: anti bullying, innocence,

Beyond Injustice’s Reach

They deployed the force and unleashed the hounds

Yet their troubles grew by leaps and bounds

Through the chase I stayed unseen

Slipped through the cracks and stayed clean

Now I’m a shadow no one surrounds

Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

Unsound Advice

My friend Danny was soon to be wed

I implied he'd be better off dead

He mused, then winked at me

And walked into the sea

I hope it wasn't something I said

Poem Details | by Chetta Achara |
Categories: political,

Election 2025

Poor old Schumer and our poor old Nancy 
Biden gave them not one pardon fancy
He was stabbed in the back
And thrown out like a hack
Now with Donald their futures are chancy


Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: funny, humor, humorous, poetry, poets, satire, silly,

A Limerick On Limericks

A sentence or two, nothing more.
Five rhymes, and then back out the door.
A meter that’s strained,
Some topic profaned:
Ah me! What’s a limerick for?

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: voice,

A Lady Named Liz


There once was a lady named Liz She could have made it in the biz With the voice of an angel She had me disabled In a pop can Liz was the fizz

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: life,

Life's Happy Play


What earthly things do I have to say The world's still round same stuff each day Happy as a pig So what the frig Why can't we all act happy in life's happy play

Poem Details | by Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories: business, crazy, drug, health,

Dumpster Fire Pharma

Sanity meted in batches
With healthcare served up in patches
It’s a dumpster dive
Just staying alive
To rely on raccoons playing with matches

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: funny,

Stop Acting Like A Boob


When I look in the mirror each morning This dude stands there sending me a warning Smarten up there dude Stop acting like a boob Or a lump on the head you'll be adorning

Poem Details | by Beryl Edmonds |
Categories: candy, crush,

Burnt Cravings

My cravings flaming in a dumpster fire Ridding me of my secret heart’s desire Every chocolate bar All candies in a jar Gone so the raver in me can transpire.

Poem Details | by Mawlid Ganim |
Categories: allegory, language, technology,

A-I

Not easy to earn and learn name and game
Technical thieves are well known to the fame
Artificial ignorance 
Or dwarfish intelligence
Winner all over the world becomes lame

Poem Details | by Karen Jones |
Categories: allusion, art, fire, poetry,

Dumpster Fire

Once you were object of my desire 
Kisses that lifted me higher and higher 
Your mask came off
Fantasy was then lost
This love story is a dumpster fire

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: strength,

The Robin's Song


Already longingly thinking 'bout spring Kinda early but winter's not my thing Love warm and sunny Not cold and crummy Listen... listen... the robin's do sing
>

Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

Cracks in the Mirror

Oh what a sight when a star twinkles

And ice cream all covered in sprinkles

But life becomes clearer

Right there in the mirror

Where all I can see are my wrinkles

Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: abortion, animal, bird, england, flying, funny, humor,

The Pigeons of Trafalgar

The pigeons of Trafalgar Square
Are feathered, yet lacking in hair.
They'd look erudite,
With wigs powdered white,
But wouldn't get up in the air.

Poem Details | by Jerrold Prothero |
Categories: clothes, fashion, fun, funny, history, humor,

Pharoah

The man who a Pharoah would be
Must dress for success to the T.
The hair 'neath his chin
Must wrap round his shin:
It cannot be just to the knee!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: love,

Loving Games


Return of warm days and nights Very joyous times filled with delight Gentle times to sway Loving games at play Softly bring one to soaring heights

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: courage,

A Flutterbye


Knew a delicate flyer called a flutterbye She'd fly backwards not like obvious butterflies Kept bumping into things But on AGT she could sing Sang opera brought a tear to my eyes

Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

No Free Rides

Widowed Parker faced old age with grace

Brought a prostitute back to his place

Once she did what he said

She slipped out of his bed

Where he died with a smile on his face

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: car,

Untitled

there was an old man named Ford
who thought history was absurd
he said it was all bunk
then his company produced a junk
and the Edsel historically became the car most abhorred

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: wisdom,

Far Div Ye Bide


You look “a bit peely wally” In Scotland means “pale or ill” by golly “Ah dinnae ken” means “I don't know” it seems ”Far div ye bide” where do you live

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: animal,

Giddy Up


Bunch of horses, cause for elation An elegant display of sophistication Beyond belief Totally unique Definitely a scene not to be outdone

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: environment, fire, natural disasters, nature, storm,

California Dreamin'

Transmission lines found underground
Ain't cheap wires that cause fires when downed
Zounds! For these we'd pay
And kneeling we pray
LA's not a gray buried mound

Poem Details | by Lin Lane |
Categories: fire,

Blazing Dumpster


Flames licked the dumpster on First Avenue Firemen arrived, so did the men in blue Four vagrants were all aghast Burned to a crisp, their repast They'd fired up the bin for a barbeque

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humor,

A Plethora Of Oinks


Had brekkie at our local coffee joint Key word is fast but it doesn't disappoint Two minutes tops It was teeming with cops Think I may have heard a plethora of oinks

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: dog, humorous, political,

Expect Rolling Brown-Outs

      I know an ambitious politician
      His nose in the sky like a patrician
          Looks down on all others
          As voters, not brothers
      Appointed ‘Chief of Dog-doo Emissions’

Poem Details | by Jim Healey |
Categories: political,

Canadian Dumpster Fire

So, Justin Trudeau's gonna retire
(something Canadians did desire). 
But he's left a big mess,
and Trump's causing stress!
It's a political dumpster fire!

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

All's Well That Ends Well


Happy as poop got results of my brain scan Had a hard time finding it when the scanner began It sputtered and screeched Till my bum it did reach Outta place but “all's WELL that ENDs well” exam

Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

The Shadow Knows

Mother Nature can be so unkind 

A better weatherman you won't find 

So how are we to know 

If we're getting more snow

When Punxsutawney Phil just went blind

Poem Details | by Randy Freie |
Categories: humorous,

Back Door Balm

To treat an ulcer that was peptic

My Doc gave me an antiseptic 

Then he made it quite clear

That it goes up my rear

I think you could say I'm a skeptic

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humor,

Untitled

there was a young rake named Denny
who partied from Wexford to Killkenny
his da’ amassed quite a large fortune
he passed away so they say from indigestion
and only left Denny a half-penny

Poem Details | by Gretchen Wertlieb |
Categories: fish, nonsense,

Poor Pirate Polly

There once was a pirate who was bored
so she went for a walk and explored.
A patch on both eyes 
and no warning cries
she walked herself straight off of board.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: fun,

Skelton Thin


Well tickle me bum and call me Lucy Got really great news pay attention it's juicy Seems to lose weight All you need do is wait Eventually you'll be skeleton thin quite spooky

Poem Details | by Oliver Mckeithan |
Categories: humor,

Untitled

there was old man from Killean
who had taste for the potcheen
one day was so drunk
he stepped on a skunk
man, what a malodorous scene